Rainy days and Mondays...

It's a dreary Monday morning, and I would like nothing better than to go back to bed and not deal with reality for a day. OK, maybe a week. Or longer. Please forgive me while I take a few minutes to whine so I can let go of things and get on with my day.

Last week, all I did was run from one appointment to the next, although it wasn't really different than most "normal" weeks for me. In an effort to make up all of my own doctor appointments that I missed last year, I finally went to the eye doctor last Monday morning. When I got home, there was just enough time for Collin and me to eat lunch, and then we were off to his therapy appointments that afternoon. Tuesday morning I went for my annual physical, and Tuesday afternoon Collin had a clinic appointment to have his bi-weekly labwork done. We got home from the clinic minutes after Bill picked Neya up from school to find out she had slipped on the sidewalk at the end of the driveway and fallen right on her front tooth. It was a tiny bit loose, and since it's a permanent tooth, I called the dentist. He saw her right away and did an X-ray; luckily the tooth is fine. Wednesday morning I spent two hours at a lab for a glucose tolerance test and other bloodwork since it hasn't been checked in over a year. Then Wednesday after school Neya had her seven year check-up, which thankfully showed that she is very healthy.

During Neya's check-up, I mentioned to our pediatrician that before Collin's eye surgery two weeks ago, one of the surgical staff mentioned that the EKG that was done in September to check Collin's heart before the high dose chemo and stem cell rescue showed that he has a hole in his heart. I had not been told anything about it following the EKG, so the physician's assistant told me it is a benign condition called patent foramen ovale; essentially it is a small hole in the heart that everyone has in utero, but normally it closes after birth. I ran it by our pediatrician to get his opinion; in the quick research I did on the condition, I read that in rare cases it can cause things like stroke or endocarditis, and I don't want Collin to have to deal with more than he already has to. Our pediatrician felt it would be a good idea to have Collin evaluated by a pediatric cardiologist, and made a referral for us. So Collin has a cardiology appointment at the end of April.

Thursday Collin had therapies and did very well. He had a great session with his Speech Therapist, and he is doing so well in PT that his Physical Therapist wants to see him once a week now instead of twice. He is so close to walking on his own, and just needs to keep practicing. Thursday night Neya wasn't feeling well, and Friday she stayed home from school with a fever and sore throat. I made another appointment with our pediatrician, which revealed she had strep throat and an ear infection. I had Bill take her, because I just couldn't face sitting in a doctor's office or waiting room one more time! Luckily we caught the strep very early, and I'm praying the rest of us don't get it. We made Neya stay in her room from Friday to Saturday night with movies and games, until she had been on the antibiotics for 24 hours and was no longer considered contagious.

Collin is doing pretty well following his eye surgery. I haven't noticed too much of a difference in the positioning of his eyes in the last week, but his right eyelid is now droopy and half closed. When I called to let his ophthalmologist know, he said some of the botox he had used to relax the muscle that pulls the eye in had probably seeped out of the muscle and is affecting the eyelid muscle. It will wear off over time, but now I don't know now well Collin will be able to see when I go back to patching his left eye like the doctor ordered. Collin had two therapy appointments scheduled for this morning, but I cancelled them because he was awake and vomiting between 2 and 3 this morning. Neya said she felt a bit nauseous when she woke up, so I kept her home from school again today to be safe. I will spend the day doing the pukey laundry, trying not to feel guilty and resentful when Neya tells me I love Collin more than I love her because I never do anything fun with her and I take better care of him than I do her, and trying to hold on to my sanity and not give in to the exhaustion that I can't seem to escape from.